Willow

“I have a horse that I would like to donate to your ministry.”

 

            The woman’s soft voice on the phone is difficult to hear.  As I strain to listen, she tells me about her little mare. 

 

“She is not much to look at,” she says.  “I adopted her from the sheriff’s dept after she was abandoned in a field here in the local area.  Her halter was left on her head for at least a year, and because she was so young, as she grew, her bones formed around the halter and it had to be cut off.  She is built well, just has bumps on her face….”

 

            Her voice trailed off as she waited to see what I would say. 

 

My thoughts were racing… “Could we take on another horse right now?  Is this one that God would have be a part of this place?”

 

            As if sensing my thoughts, she broke in, “I can no longer keep her.  I am a single mom and money is so tight.  I don’t know what I am going to do with her….”

 

            Three days later, we pulled in to her driveway, trailer in tow to pick up our little horse.  An incredibly small property was crammed with horses, vehicles, trailers, trash and junk.  Our hearts heavy and apprehensive, we walked around the corner of a tiny pen and shelter to find a little red mare peeking out.  Bumps on her nose, thin, bites from her hide from fighting with other horses for food, her outside was battered and scarred but as we approached, her spirit shone from her soft eyes.  Speaking softly, we haltered her and began to lead her to the trailer.  She came slowly and fearfully, trembling slightly every time the former owner approached. 

 

       “She has been difficult to handle,” she said.  “My kids have done all her training and sometimes the neighbor down the road.  They all mean well but my kids don’t know a whole lot and the neighbor is often rough.”
 

            Praying hard for peace and patience, we kept our thoughts to ourselves as we worked to load the little horse in the trailer.  She was panicked at times, rearing and pulling, but finally stepped into the trailer and allowed us to close the door behind her.

 

            Pulling into our driveway a few hours later, we slowly opened the trailer door.  A little red nose peaked around the corner as if to see if it was safe to come out.  Several whinnies greeted her from the spacious corral.  She lifted her head and scanned the open vast horizon.  She sniffed the prairie breeze, gave a deep sigh, stepped out of the trailer, and nudged us with her nose. 

 

         She was home. 

 

            We named her Willow.  God created willow trees to bend and sway with the storms.  Despite the battering and scarring that they receive, they grow green and beautiful each spring.  Usually found by streams of water, their roots reach deep for sustenance. 

          Our little Willow has had to bend with the storms in her life, but despite her battered and scarred appearance, she is beautiful and graceful.

 

            Teenage girls have often come to our ranch to see the horses.  As we share the different stories of what each horse has gone through, Willow’s story resonates with them.  In this life of media bombardment of what beauty is supposed to look like, as they struggle with how God has created them, they look at Willow and see her inner spirit.  They see her beauty and grace as she moves.  They don’t see the bumps on her face or the scars on her hide. 

            Once they see that in her, they realize that God sees that in them.  God created their inner spirit.  He created their beauty and grace.  He does not see the pimples, or the teenage awkwardness.  He does not see the scarred and battered outside.   

He sees the heart of who they are.  

            And just like the willow tree, if they reach their roots deep for Living Water, they too will grow strong and beautiful.

Pwillow-21salm 1:3 They are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do, they prosper.

      As Willow has grown, her bumps have faded and her scars have healed.  She is truly now the beautiful creature that God intended her to be.

Sometimes it’s simple…..

I listened to his story.

The anger came out as he told me about his tractor. He depended on it. He used it to farm his small acreage and couldn’t harvest without it.

And it was sitting by the side of the road, completely gutted by fire.

Some electrical problem had caused enough heat to catch the engine on fire.  The fire had spread and the tractor was now a total loss.

“Was it insured?” someone asked.

“It was,” he answered . But this knowledge did not dampen the fire of anger that now burned in him.

This was not my first conversation with Bill.

We had numerous others in which he had told me of his past and the bitterness he held for Christians and their “flippant attitudes” toward life.

He had expressed frustration with people who had told him that God was trying to send him a message.

He searched for hidden meanings in difficulties and was all the more sullen when he didn’t see an answer.

He had come to the conclusion that he couldn’t see God. God was too complicated for his simple understanding, so he stopped looking.

He trudged through life beaten down.

This was the final straw.

He finished his account of the fire, and his hopelessness in being able to get a crop in.

The conversation turned from a story to a search.

“Who had a tractor he could use? Would insurance pay for his? Would it be in time to harvest?”

These were the varying questions that ran through his mind and out his mouth.

As he struggled for answers, he got more and more agitated.

Finally he looked at me and with sarcasm laced in his voice, he burst out,

“What was God trying to tell me, huh?  I’m sure there is a hidden meaning in my tractor somewhere. What does He want?”

What does God want?

The Almighty God that made the heaven and earth.

What does He want from a farmer with a broken down tractor?

The wisdom of God came out of my mouth before I had time to think.

“Well, I don’t think He wants you to use that tractor for a while.”

The wrinkles in his creased forehead slowly melted as comprehension of the simplicity of the answer hit him, and he chuckled.  

“I think you’re right, He doesn’t want me to use that tractor for a while….”

God allowed him to see the answer, not as another flippant reply, but as an honest reality. 

He wasn’t going to use that tractor for a while, but it was going to be all right.  A friend would help him out, harvest would come in, the tractor would be repaired, and life would go on. 

For a moment, he saw God for who He is……

For He is not someone I will ever understand, and the more I try, the more frustrated I become.

But He is able to meet me where I am.

I am simple.

He can be simple for me.

Published in: on November 24, 2008 at 11:52 am  Leave a Comment  
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Sally’s Lesson

Tshepherd-boyhe last thing that I ever expected to fall from the sky was a lamb. 

That is exactly what happened today. 

I was going about my normal chores when a lady pulled into my driveway in a little Ford Ranger pickup. 

Before I can ask what I can do for her, she says, “I have a problem”

Now, this is not a normal way to start a conversation, except with your therapist. 

I am in no way a therapist, but I venture out on a limb anyway and say, “What can I do for you?”

She explains that she was driving down the highway in front of our home, following a pickup with sideboards that was crammed full of sheep.

(This is a fairly typical way of taking sheep to market in our area.  Don’t worry, she found it odd too). 

The truck hit a pothole in the road. Her jaw dropped as a lamb squirted out of the back of the truck and onto the road in front of her.  She hit the brakes, swerved to miss the lamb and brought her truck to a stop. 

After a moment to make sure what she had witnessed was real, she got out of her truck and went to check on the lamb. 

The lamb was fine.  A little scraped on its legs, and very shocked at finding itself on the road instead of under its mother, but nevertheless o.k.

She picked up the lamb (it weighed about 12 lbs), put it in her truck, and looked around for the sheep truck.  It was long gone.  She realized that she is now the proud owner of a lamb that will have a hard time living a natural life in her apartment in town. 

She pulled into the first driveway she saw, (ours) and was hoping to find this little lamb a new home before continuing with her errand running.

I graciously say that we will take the lamb. It will fit right in with our flock.  045

She thanks me over and over and leaves. 

My girls immediately fall in love with the lamb. It becomes “Sally”

It has a name.  Therefore, it is a full member of the family. 

None of the rest of the sheep have names. 

The lamb needs to be quarantined in case it is carrying a disease that could infect the whole flock.

The girls ask if they can keep Sally in the house……I take Sally to the barn. 

In about 15 minutes, Sally is out of the barn.  I look around and find my girls had nothing to do with it. 

They have moved on to the cute frogs in the sandbox…….. which will also not be kept in the house.

I take the lamb and put it in the barn. 

The lamb gets out of the barn

I put the lamb in the barn. 

The lamb gets out of the barn

I give up and let the lamb wander around.  She finds our big flock of sheep and joins them. 

I give up on the quarantine idea, deciding that what will be, will be and head off to bed.

Thbottlefeeding-lambse next morning, my girls get up to go check on Sally.

She is not in with the sheep. 

We do chores.

No Sally. 

We go to check on the horses in the pasture. 

Something small and white is in the distance.  It is moving in an odd manner. 

As the object gets closer, we realize that it is Sally.  Her hind leg is dangling by just the skin, having had the bone completely severed and broken. 

One of the horses must have gotten annoyed with Sally and kicked her. 

The girls come running, very concerned. 

I see the problem and try to explain to my girls that Sally is very small. 

She is hurt pretty bad and may not make it through. 

We do our best to splint Sally’s leg and put her in the chicken coop, where we hope she is secure. 

Six weeks go by. 

Sally is completely healed.  Her leg has miraculously healed straight and normal. 

She has stayed in the chicken coop, enjoying lots of love and attention from the girls. 

We decide that she is ready to go back in with the rest of the flock of sheep.

It’s morning.  We go out to do chores and find….Sally

She is dead.  Killed by a dog in the night.  

Sad ending?

Not what you wanted?

Me neither.  This little lamb refused to learn a vital lesson. 

No matter how hard we tried to protect her, she would not be protected. 

I expected Sally to live a long, happy, sheep life, and did my best to give her what she needed. 

She saw it differently. 

She saw greener grass.  She saw freedom.  She saw what was forbidden and went for it.

She died.

I have a responsibility. 

God promised to give me what I need to live and be happy. 

I have seen the grass beyond His boundary and it looks good. 

I see freedom to know everything.  I see what is forbidden and I go for it. 

I find myself in the middle of the garden with a piece of delicious fruit in my hand and a bite in my mouth that dosen’t taste quite as good as it looked. 

And I feel the disappointment of my Maker as He watches me.  It makes me ashamed. 

I want to hide from His sight. 

This is not what He wanted.

He planned so much more.

Time goes by…..

I look…

The grass seems really green…

I have freedom to do what I want…

The dogs are waiting.

Published in: on November 8, 2008 at 9:05 am  Comments (4)  
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God’s Gentle Reminders

mccarrol-youth-group-075I was discouraged.

Every time that something wonderful happens, every time that I can really see God changing people right before my eyes, every time that I feel like I am making a difference, something breaks.

This time it was our truck.  This vehicle is the life-blood of our operation.  We are constantly hauling stuff; from horses to hay and this truck is the only means we have to pull the necessary trailers. 

We had just had an amazing weekend.  We had a youth group come for a weekend retreat.  These kids were wonderful.  We shared our horses  with them and got to see in their faces how much it had meant to them. That they had learned to see Jesus in ways that they hadn’t before.  It was one of the most encouraging times I have ever experienced. 

It was the next day.

We were driving to pick up my son’s birthday present, an English Shepherd pup that he had been begging us for. winchester

We noticed smoke coming from the tailpipe.   The truck started to shudder and almost died.

This continued for the next twenty miles until we pulled in the driveway and then it gave up the ghost and quit.

My first feeling was thankfulness that we made it home and were not stranded somewhere on the highway, in the middle of the prairie, out of cell phone range, hitching a ride on a passing cattle truck.

The next thought was, “What are we going to do about this?” 

We have no money to pay for what I know will be an extensive repair bill. 

“How will we pay our other bills if we pay for this?  How will the bank not foreclose on our house and kick us out onto the street!”

Okay, that’s a little overboard, but really not that far from where my mind was going. 

This is why God knew that I needed the wife He gave me. 

She looks at me very calmly and, knowing what I am thinking, even though I haven’t given voice to it all, says, “God hasn’t given you the strength to deal with tomorrow yet; lets see what we need to do today.”

This does very little to help.

I want to be discouraged.  I want to be miserable for a little while.  I want to wallow in it and let it consume me.  So I do.

I am cranky with my kids when they get home.  I allow the pleasure of giving a precious gift to my son to be tainted with my melancholy.  All in all, I don’t have a very good day.

Later that night I sit and watch a baseball game.  Everyone else is in bed.  I don’t pay a lot of attention to the game.  I am starting to realize that I have made stupid choices in allowing a problem to overwhelm me.  I start to feel apologetic.  That’s when it happens.

Bandit, my faithful 150-pound Saint Bernard, walks over and lays down, putting her head in my lap.  I can no longer see my legs.  She looks up at me and I see my wife’s wise words from earlier echoed there.bandit2

“You don’t have enough grace for tomorrow, only for today.”

I get the point.  As I sit there, I scratch her ears and commit to apologies that have to be made to my family in the morning. 

 I have a chat with God that has me on the very humbled end, and I start to feel better.  The misery seeps away as I allow God to lift me back up. 

And soon I am ready to start fresh the next morning.

I look down at my girl’s head on my lap.  Her eyes are closed as I continue to scratch her ears.  I realize that I can no longer feel my feet and I need her to move.  I stop scratching.  She looks at me without moving her head. 

Finally she lets out a long sigh when she realizes that I won’t start scratching again and gets up and walks away.

I watch her walk away, thankful that God gave her to me to give me gentle reminders. Thankful that I have been able to see Him work in my life, that I can feel myself drawing closer to Him.

Then I look down.

My lap is completely covered in dog drool.

Published in: on November 5, 2008 at 10:00 am  Comments (1)  
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Blisters

 

The searing pain in my hand left me contemplating what just happened. 

 I looked down to watch the red tissue of my palm swell in several blisters.  

I had been leading my horse out of the arena after a good ride when something happened.

 I still don’t know what caused him to spook the way he did, but evidently it was something terrifying for him.

I wasn’t watching him as he followed me, but when I felt the rope pull tight in my hand, my first reaction was to hang on tighter. 

If my brain had been functioning logically, it would have registered that on the other end of that rope was my 1500 lb friend, Thunder, and that I was not going to hold him no matter how tight I clamped down on the rope.Scott and Thunder

Therefore…  the blisters.  The rope had slid through my hand so fast that I had no time to let go once my initial reaction took over.

As I looked at my injury, it made me realize that I had a lesson to learn.  My hands were not trained to open and let go fast enough. 

This is something I needed to remedy. 

Over the rest of the day, I thought about my reaction, and I realized that I have done that with God over and over.  I have hung onto things so hard, that God has been taking from my life, that I have ended up scarred.  It’s my own fault.  If I am willing to hold loosely and let go quickly, my life is much more pleasant. 

I have now learned to open my hand fast when that rope begins to pull.  Yes, it took a few more times of watching the skin on my hands change color and cursing my stupidity, but now I know. 

I am still working on that spiritual lesson. 

It’s hard not to hold on tight to things that I think are important.  But that’s just it. 

What I “think” is important may not be what “is”.

Lord, you give and take away…blessed be Your name.

Published in: on November 2, 2008 at 6:04 pm  Leave a Comment  
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